fugue_strayer

28 May 2009 @ 12:50 pm

(no subject)

MOVED TO....
GO AND FIND OUT YOURSELF:D

^^v
http://behind-th-smile.livejournal.com
heehee

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26 May 2009 @ 01:12 am

ow khaikit!

HI KHAIKIT. IM HERE TO POST YOUR MOST GLAMOROUS PHOTO! HEEEEEE HEEEEE!
PLEASE SCROLL DOWN
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haha, khaikit, you just got pranked! HAHAHAH!
WEILING FOR THE WIN! :D
WOOOOO!!
WEILING IS NICE LUH OK

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24 May 2009 @ 01:15 am

renewal

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things I see
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am, for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from nothing to eternity

A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains.

Weiling is sooooooooooooooooooooooo stressed. Projects,assignment,projects,assignment, COMMON TEST! :O
BUT SHE WILL STILL PRESS ON YES? :D

Thank you to those who supported her, all the way or half way or which ever way. :)
Most importantly, thank God :)

Current Mood:

refreshed

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22 May 2009 @ 12:42 am

Stronger than yesterday

I wasted my WHOLE day on sleeping :D
Great. Only left the night to browse through IEF :(
Kris won, Adam didnt make it :(
Im gonna miss dance tmr :(
Im gonna watch angels and demons! :D
I love Bram's kitties. So sweeeeet :3
IEF tutorial tomorrow. -.- ??
So much things, so little time :( ( quoted from Leewenqi :D)
But...
Weiling believes she can do it. It will happen! :D
Heehee, random. ^^V

Current Mood:

hopeful

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20 May 2009 @ 12:42 am

BIG *

SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SO WHAT
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT!
YEAH, SO WHAT?

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
-Philiphians 4:13

Thank You for giving me supportive friends :)

Current Mood:

peaceful

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19 May 2009 @ 12:20 am

Thumbs up

Today started off bad yo. I didnt wear smart casual for my fine dining and I felt extremely odd. Thank God Kpt didnt pick on me duing lecture. Marcus sucks. Dance was good :)

I MISS BRANDON SOOOOOOO MUCH! I miss the times that me and yeevonn would go to his house to study for Os and then stay for dinner and play Wii games :D So fun :) I miss secondary school :) I cant wait to meet him after his A levels with tingting :D celebrate yo. Thanks for encouraging me brandon. You made my day better :) Nothing is impossible! :D

Brandon says:
if you get a 4 i treat you something ok?
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
I WILL DO MY BEST
Brandon says:
lol
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
LOL U CANT BE SERIOUS
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
i really dont think i can reach 4.0.
Brandon says:
YOU BETTER DONT PREACH WHAT YOU SAY
Brandon says:
AH?
Brandon says:
if i can top pjc
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
but
Brandon says:
you can top poly
Brandon says:
end of story
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
IM STILL GONNA TRY MY BEST
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
MY BEST EFFORT
Brandon says:
good
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
eh, above 3.5 u treat me la
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
lol
WEILING is trying very very hard says:

Brandon says:
no cannot
Brandon says:
4
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
to climb 0.4 i damn difficult
Brandon says:
3.5 its too simple
Brandon says:
lol
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
LOL!!!
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
ZZZZZ
Brandon says:
i dont care
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
3.6?
Brandon says:
4 or nothing
WEILING is trying very very hard says:

WEILING is trying very very hard says:

Brandon says:
=P
Brandon says:
3.8
Brandon says:
no less
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
ok! DEAL
Brandon says:
3.79 cannot ah
Brandon says:
3.8
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
WAH LAO!
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
LOL!
WEILING is trying very very hard says:
discount la

Haha, Im not bad in bargaining ah? *winks*

Current Mood:

chipper

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18 May 2009 @ 12:12 am

this feeling's taking control of me

Man, my eating disorder came back today. Darn :( I hope it will stop soon! Argh. I hate school I hate school I hate school. :( Tomorrow's IEF lecture. KPT dont pick on meeeeee canzzz? I very dumb one. :( Green vision project is pissing me off.

Why am I such a sensitive person? Why do I cloud my mind with these thought that wont leave me alone? Why this? Why now? Why you?
My heart feels heavy everytime I think of it or see it. Its something I cant escape from. It haunts me every moment.
Why cant I be what I was? Why am I not as strong as last time, when I could just put these thoughts aside and concentrate what Im suppose to? When I could put a smile over a sulk? Why do I get sleepless nights? Why do these tears come at night?
I cant figure out whats really going on. Im messed up, on the inside and outside.
Im drained. Very worn out. How long more can I last?
I cant break down. Not now.

Current Mood:

indescribable

16 May 2009 @ 12:41 am

love me like you'd never see me again

I love JJ's Choreo during yesterday's class.Danced to the song Tshirt by Shontelle <3 Gonna practice practice!

I FEEL SUPER SUPER DUPER DUPER SIAN. Not bored. Just frustrated. Very very annoyed.
BA comm event tmr at 10am and I'm super lazy to go.
Im darn depressed now 'cos I cant go and support BFF for the KO night thingy. I thought it was on a sunday. Im super cock eye :( I have this mothers day dinner thing I have to attend.
Suntec com is giving me weird feelings that its not gonna work out :(
Assignments are drowing me. IEF is suffocating me. School is killing me
And me? Im just the working the shit out of myself and getting nothing in the end.
Im trying to make the best out of things, but it just gets worse.
I NEED TIMEOUT! but I dont have the time to.

OH OH OH...
Hi people I would like to introduce this retarded classmate of mine :D

See that guy in the checkered blouse?
He is a black vulgar gossipy gayboy
He is Ow Khaikit
He wants everyone of y'all to know who he is :D
& Khaikit, I dont think any hot girls wanna know you. Not even MAAAASSSSIVE :D
Massive is Bram's. HAHAH!
HAPPY KHAIKIT?:D

OK, THATS ALL FOLKS. GOODNIGHT :D

What am I suppose to say
When Im all choked up and you're ok.

Current Mood:

gloomy

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14 May 2009 @ 12:03 am

there's a soulmate for everyone

Tea-time: Cookies & Cream + Fries = <3
Today's audition was pretty exciting I guess? Haha. Hope those 3 guys get in. They were pretty gooooood! :D and Im soooo happy that SHE didnt get in. HAHAA Stupid ** . She's so annoying lah. :( Noisy, arrogant bimbo. & there was this freshie who wanted to borrow my shirt and I have no idea why I agreed to it when I didnt want to :( In the end after going through all the hassle, I took back my shirt. I felt extremely bad, for some reason. Sorry Ziqe,Zef & Ephraim for bothering you.Oh you know Leiyi was so sweet! She made this animal balloon for me!! :D:D Yay yay! Thanks alot dear! OH YES and did I tell you I had this terrible headache after playing spot the difference on facebook for like almost the whole of AAA tutorial? It lasted all the way til I cab home :( Sucky feeling. Went to Alahmeen for dinner/supper with those that came to support. Those guys were like singing so loudly lah!
I have no idea why Im not doing my research when its due in 8hours time. I have to wake up at 7am. So that leaves me with 6 hours to sleep and complete my project. Argh, I DONT WANTTTTT :( Seriously no mood.. at all. I gonna sleep during GV again :D Shiok. I want my lychee bubble teaaa and dewberry :(

There's enough for everyone
but im still waiting in line
They are all good but not the permenant one.

Would it be okay Would it be okay, if I took your breath away?

Current Mood:

stressed

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12 May 2009 @ 06:35 pm

(no subject)

2nd post of the day. Shows that I pretty bored uh. GV proj's allocation done. :D Stonning at studio now, watching the other do warm up. & Farid keeps disturbing me! ): Its like forever lah. LOL. I shall find some tactic to disturb him back too :D Gonna chiong AAA when I get home
SMILE WEILING SMILE!

You completely know
The power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
No, its not fair
How could you take advantage of the fact that
I love you beyond the reason why.

Current Mood:

bored

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12 May 2009 @ 11:10 am

The touch of your hand says you'll catch me, whenever I fall.

Im stressed by the fact that Im not feeling stressed at week 4 .Ok, Im stonning in the library now cos lesson has ended and I have a project meeting at 1pm. B O R I N G . AAA quiz is tomorrow and I havent even touch my notes. Heard that they're gonna test on theory :( I hatee theory tooo theeee maxxxx. Anyways, yesterday dance prac was okay. Just suddenly didnt have the mood to dance. I didnt even stay back to stretch, just went straight home. HOW TO DO SPLIT BY JUNE?! Haiyo. Well, at least something & someone cheered me up. Thank you Marcus :) Dewberry really rawks :D

All day long I can hear people talking out loud.
But when you hold me near,
You drown out the crowd.

Current Mood:

thankful

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09 May 2009 @ 12:41 am

Your smile, makes me smile

WEEK 3
Tired,worn out, just very drained. & you should know its not only the physical aspect.
Spend the entire week staying back for the auditions and dance pracs. To Sheauyun, her friend, Chinaman,Wayne, Leiyi, Jason, Jamie and that someone special (winks) , WELL DONE :) You guys did your best and did it well :) Sunday's the result! Im excited for them :) Had steamboat with some of my IS friends. The 6 of us ate almost 40plates of dishes. But it was GOOOD. Especially the chilli crab :D Today I stood in KPT's tutorial for one and half hours. Good for the leg muscles. HAHA. KPT says so. Her tutorial wasnt as scary as I thought it was gonna be. Trained on basics with my group while the audition was running and I realised actually how sucky I am in my isolations. Like gosh, Im already year2? :( Sigh. Practice girl practice. I feel that Im so lazy. I dont wanna come out of my comfort zone :( Im lagging behind so much in my school work. Im soooo lazy! & how am I suppose to get the desired GPA like since semester 1 which I havent achieve? WAKE UP WEILING WAKE UP!!

I know I can count on certain people in my life :) Sadly they're not the ones that I thought would be. Well, at least look on the bright side. They are outta my life :D These type of hypocrites only come to make use of you.They dont stand up for you but continues gossiping about you. Screw this group of "humans". Im so proud of myself that I regconize that fact 'cos it makes me feel smart! :D haha, whatever Weiling. I feel that being alone now isnt that bad. More like, Im used to it. Im not afraid to be alone. Its such entertainment when one of the hypocrites come to you, when she NEEEDS you, asking ( or begging.. hmm begging sounds more entertaining) you to following her to somewhere which she can go herself? And you should hear her tone. Haha. Seriously, funny. Ok, I shall stop with all these or else people would think Im lunatic.

I shall be more.... focus and not be bother about such feelings. Because feelings dont really matter to me now. This is the minor of the minor-est problem. Keep the distance ( like I always do) . Not being like those desperate girls trying all their ways (and I mean every way) to get the guy to like them like... OH WEILING SHUT UP :) Im so proud of myself that Im not like them.. or her ^^

Okay, enough said. Goodnight!

Current Mood:

bitchy

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30 April 2009 @ 10:36 pm

(no subject)

Thank God Its Friday! Thank God its a public holiday! WOHHH! Week2 is managable :D For now, and now on, Im a potential victim of IEF D: Sigh, the thought of IEF makes me worried :( Argh. Nono, I love IEF, I love IEF, I love IEF. I shall continue to chant these throughout the semester. My eyes are half open now. 4hours of sleep is NO JOKE I tell u. I was rushing my GreenVision assignement. Sheesh. Feel so sian today. Couldnt really dance properly with the condition of my knees. =/ Im sooo emotionally drained. :( Deep thought of many many things. Present and the future. & when I say future, I mean end times (end of the world).
Well, Suntec Com training will start next week. SCO interview is just around the corner. OH NRA AUDITIONS THIS MONDAY! I wanna see! :D

When did we fall apart? Or did you lie from the start?
But you promised me forever more...

Current Mood:

drained

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24 April 2009 @ 01:37 am

(no subject)

Overview
1st week of school has been kinda slack i guess. I feel motivated for a start (actually more of challenged 'cos someone told me he has done up to the 4th tutorial when its only like week 1? -.- ) Well, glad to see my ~~'friends'~~ friends again.
Im starting to take things lightly now, not thinking too much anymore (or at least not as much last time). I feel better :) less sad? haha! True LEPAKing! :D Do what you want, dont care what the others say :) Not happy, just tell me! Work things out. Lepak. Make things difficult? I still lepak. You step on my toes? I will freaking punch you in the balls/face/ or anywhere that hurts REAL bad.. and then lepak!! :D
The past few days has been tiring. Dance, dance, dance :D I wanna do a split by june AND I WILL DO A SPLIT BY JUNE ! Heehee. ^^ Stretch stretch stretch! :) Spent alot of time with my nra peeeps and I really enjoy it :) especially ice cream @ island creamery :) (L) Not forgetting Dance4fund (DFF) \m/ NRA ROCKED THE WHOLE STAGE MAN! CKC's item was.... awesomely dope.Really! My BA did well. So did LSCT, ME & MDE. :)

Monday
Island Creamery with KK, Ulric aka pangsai, Ephraim & Siti :D

<3 ReversO

Ephraim:)

MR pangsai :)

Dig in! :D

Ulric, too slow to take my unglam picture :P

Siti:)

<3

Tuesday
Prac Prac Prac Stretch Stretch Stretch :)

^^V Random.

Wednesday
Totally switched off during PMKT lecture (1pm-3pm for the whole day only :D jealous ) Then, rehearsals at CC :) It was.. boring, slack, tiring, emo and I don know what more to say. Just an emo for nothing day. Maybe its just one of the days when you see him/her emotionally disturbed and it somehow.. affects you.. whether you like it or not. For me, its an irritating feeling that I cant seem to put aside. Anyways, jiayou freshies :)

Thursday
DANCE4FUND

Looks like the holidays were just a self made illusion,
As reality comes crashing on me when school term reopens
Maybe Im not really over you, yet =/
I long to see you smiling back at me someday.

Current Mood:

confused

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17 April 2009 @ 01:18 am

Did you lie from the start?

So busy. I dont even have time to rant about my days. :( Most of the time I have been dancing dancing & dancing. I really need to train on my basics and flexibility.

Monday- stayed at home and worked at home
Tuesday- marcus' post birthday dinner :)

Bunny+pig+?

Hello Zesty!

<3 Birthday boy!

Ade act cute sia! :D

Wednesday- Shopping with Chin & Adeline.Evening dance
Thursday- Stayed at home. Evening dance

Tomorrow is potluck with RC! :)

Current Mood:

worried

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13 April 2009 @ 06:54 pm

(no subject)

RC OEI!
HERE
RC OEI!
WE
RC OEI!
Shhh. LISTEN LAH HOI!

BAOC ROCKED THE ENTIRE CC MANZZZ! :D RC FTW RC FTW! :D Overall, freshies were awesome! Performaces were awesome! Dance, was the awesomest!!! :D I HEART THE KICK ASS GROUP! :) & OF COURSE I HEART THE SKIT PERFORMANCE GROUP TOO! I HEART RC's SCs & SBs. I HEART BESTEST FRIEND AND HUMSUP! :D I HEART BAOC! I really really really had an AWEEESOME time with the baoc gang :) From the prep stage til the end of baoc. :)

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08 April 2009 @ 12:31 am

(no subject)

BAOC 2009 offically starts! :) RUSTIC COUNTRY 9 :D My freshies were like super quiet at the start so we like hype them with up with cheers and stuff :) Overall we had fun :) & Marcus Tan, RUSTIC COUNTRY OWNS MAN! :D Later the SCs and Leiyi ( the only freshie) went to have dinner at macs. I was super high with those people man, like surprisingly :D We've only known each other for like... only 1month? We're like laughing and screaming at the top of your voices. For once in such a long time, I felt like myself again. Its a great feeling :) Got Ryan clap, Jonathan clap etc.. and the joke about Ryan working in Macs and turning around saying "UH..." ! HAHA! That was the ultimate! Spent like 80% of the time laughing rather than eating. Wth man!
Tomorrow's games day! Hope that the freshies will be 10times more enthu and SCs will be 10times more siao too!

Everything reminded me of you, what can i do
its not right, not okay
to say the words that you say
maybe we're better off this way
im not fine, im in pain
its harder everyday
Maybe we're better off this way
Its better that we break.

Current Mood:

energetic

1 comment | Leave a comment

04 April 2009 @ 10:39 pm

(no subject)

My arm aches from thursday's badminton.Great to see my MI friends again. Bumped into Marcus at Lot1.Haha. Friday was back to baoc prep and dance4fun prac. Super tired out. Cant wait for Baoc to be over and I can finally enjoy the last week of my holidays. I NEED TO SHOP BADLY! LIKE REALLY BADLY! LOL

I've learnt to slowly let go of certain things that I've been holding back.
Forgive.
Im feeling so out of place like I know Im worried about something but I dont know what Im worried about.
Ugh, hate this feeling.

Current Mood:

uncomfortable

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02 April 2009 @ 12:20 am

Got what you want, and then?

Today's painting session was madddddness! We're like painting each other's legs, hands and face? :D LOL. My legs are stil aching badly from yesterday's dance. Im so excited cos Im meeting some of my MI peeps tomorrow for badminton! :) & IS enrolement as well. :D
Mood's better today :) despite..

Being mean feels good.
Getting what you want is satisfying.
But when everything settles down and you look back and think about what you did,
do you really feel satisfied?
After hurting one someone who made you mad, after getting back what you thought you deserve?
No.
But only a weird feeling churning inside.
GUILT.

& finally one day, you'd grow all cold til you feel no more guilt.
And go on a killing spree. :)

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01 April 2009 @ 12:41 am

(no subject)

Ok, I didnt mean to show black face today but I cant hold back everything, being Weiling :) Dance was screwed. Skit was alright. But things are fine... for now. Going back to school again to do the stage props :) I love painting. I love paint sniffing. HAHA. :D Im looking forward to see my group's freshies :D Hope that they'd enthu or I'll slap their faces :]

Shouldnt I be happy?
But it suddenly reminds of what happened 2 months ago.
All the expressionless faces. No Joy. I still keep that in mind.
All these thoughts and maybe assumptions come into my mind now.
These emotions dont wanna leave the heart & mind.
They just sink deeper.

Maybe,just maybe
Im just jealous.
But,
who wouldnt be?

I wanna be the black sheep.
Intentionally.
Oh, no. I wouldnt even be noticed as one
because Im just another number to them.
No difference.

I HAVE ISSUES. DO YOU?

Current Mood:

jealous

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